Wednesday, December 8, 2010

lost my will to write (no #reverb10)


I am having a weird week. I haven't felt like writing. The prompts haven't inspired me. Or rather, they've inspired me to feel bad that I have no words to respond. What did I make this year? Can't think of anything but uninspired dinners and boring lunches for the girls' lunchboxes every day. What community am I part of? Not one. I barely even made it to my monthly book club meeting twice this year. I have wished so hard to be part of one but I don't really try to be part of one.

I did have something to say about the "let go" prompt, but I didn't have the opportunity to write that day. I should get around to that one; apparently people aren't necessarily going in order or exactly on the day. I guess I will get to that.

I just feel sad and lost today.

This photo spoke to me today because I feel like I'm sitting here with the ball in my mouth waiting for someone to throw it to me, but I won't give them the ball so they can throw it. (That is how my dog does it. She will only give up the ball if you give her a treat for it, but she REALLY wants you to throw the ball SO BAD, PLEASE PLEASE THROW THE BALL FOR ME.)

So I REALLY don't feel like I can respond to the beautifully different prompt yet. I don't feel beautiful, I don't feel unique, I don't feel like I light people up.

I need to snap out of it.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Christy. I'm sorry the prompt landed on you at the wrong time. But I'll tell you this: *SO* many people struggled with the beautifully different one. And so many of them said precisely what you said--that they just don't feel that way. It's hard to turn it on just for a prompt, right? And no, people are going out of order and answering days late. There's no prize or badge for doing everything exactly right. It's about your year, not anyone else's mold.

    I hope you keep going with the prompts. One of these days, one's going to land on you that lights *you* up instead.

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  2. Well, I stayed away so long that I didn't even know I had a comment! Thank you, Kim, for the encouraging words. I will definitely try to get back into it.

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