Friday, November 20, 2009

starting to get there

I am finally starting to actually do some things I want to do. It's really too bad that I can only do that when I am not working. Or hardly working. I have to scrounge and scrape for hours at work anymore...think I am coming to the end of this pretty sweet gig. I worked 8 hours this week -- woo. Better than nothing, but it's kind of a bummer to be on the payroll and still have to beg for work. I am meeting with some people at another company next week, so we will see how that pans out. I need to finish updating my resume. I really would rather be doing another kind of work, so I am slowly exploring what kinds of options I might have. I really want to write more, and edit web writing rather than manage proposals. I am freakin' sick of proposals.

The good news: I have been playing the piano for like an hour every day. I got recruited to perform a duet with my daughter of a little swingy jazz tune for an ensemble event put on by the music teachers' association, and I really enjoyed it! We performed at the cafe of the fancy new Whole Foods, and then we performed it at the event last Saturday. We both made little mistakes and both felt kind of like it wasn't as good as we could have been, but then we got the marks from the judge, and they were glowing reviews! She praised our excellent jazz technique and swing rhythm and our technical wonderfulness. And she commented on what a fun thing it was for a mother and daughter to do together. It sure was.

Monday, November 16, 2009

a mobile test

Just wondering if my mobile posting works or not. So I will try this. And then we shall see.
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Tuesday, November 3, 2009


At least I can always write about what I'm grateful for. And that is helpful in many ways.
I'm grateful that I accomplished a few things when I went into the office, even for such a short time. And that it turned out to be a good thing I went in.
I'm grateful for my adorable nephew, who turned 7 today.
I'm happy that I finally called my dad, and he was happy to hear from me and not too crabby about how long it's been since I last called. And he sounded good, too, still feeling healthy now that he is treating his diabetes.
I'm glad that my daughter's periodontist appointment went well -- her gum recession is not any worse, no need to do anything at this time -- and that her periodontist is charming and movie-star handsome.
I'm happy that my boss is on the mend from a surgical procedure and that I can make a little money and feel useful filling in for her.
And that's my gratitude for the day. And I'm grateful that I wrote something.
2009-10-20 085

Monday, November 2, 2009

it's getting late...

...but I really want to post SOMETHING. although this is pretty lame, posting something just for the sake of having something up here.
But not as lame as not posting ANYTHING! and maybe I could post a link I like or something! Yeah, that's what I'll do.
LOVE STORY (Taylor Swift) meets VIVA LA VIDA (Coldplay) - Piano Cello - by Jon Schmidt

This video is really fun.
And that's all I have to say right now. Going to bed.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

the first of november


Well, in case I manage to actually do this NaBloPoMo thingy this time, I guess it would be good to post something before Nov. 1 is over. How 'bout some gratitude?
It was a fun weekend - a looooonnng weekend - three snowdays and then a nice Saturday and Sunday. A fun concert, a Halloween party, a nice Halloween day with cute, polite trick-or-treaters, and a fairly relaxing Sunday.
I went off the Pill yesterday - was just on it to try to make that lovely monthly time a little more manageable, but all it did was give me a nonstop period and for some reason lots of anxiety - and I feel better already. More like myself.
The snow is finally melting - yay.
I'm working this week for the first time in weeks. Hope I remember how to be productive. It will be nice to make a little money and see some people and feel needed.
There! I wrote something! Yay for me!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

losing the sun


I had a scary dream last night, and I thought, why not record it here. People generally don’t care to listen to your dreams, but this blog is pretty much read only by me and occasionally by my good friend Lisa. (Hi Lisa! Want to hear about my dream?)
So anyway, I dreamed that my family was moving into a new house. It was smaller, but a cute house, and we were trying to figure out how to fit the furniture that we wanted to keep and figure out what we should get rid of. While Scott was working on something inside, I took the girls outside for a little walk around the block to check out the neighborhood.
As we walked around, saying hi to the neighbors, I suddenly saw someone gasp and point to the sky.  I looked up to see the sun – rather low in the sky, as it was about five or six in the evening – spew out a big fountain of fire. We all instinctively ducked, and I grabbed the girls to protect them (in the dream, they were little girls again – not any older than 8 or 9). I thought to myself, we are going to burn up right now. We can’t survive something like that coming out of the sun!
But we didn’t burn up – didn’t even feel anything – and then, with a few more flashes, the sun started to dim, then just went out, like a burned-out lightbulb.  I thought, why aren’t we dead right now? The earth can’t survive without the sun! The next thing I thought was that we needed to get back to Scott so we could all be together when we died.  We ran back to the house (but since it was a dream, it was so slow and difficult to run -- like running through jell-o or something – so frustrating!) We got there and all huddled together on the couch as I tried to explain to the girls that the world was going to end, very soon, and that our lives would be over, and that our lives had been so wonderful and I loved them so very much.  We all cried and were so distressed and sad…and yet nothing happened. It was dark outside, but streetlights began coming on, and we turned lights on in the new house, and we didn’t die. 
Then it seemed like days went by, and the world began to get used to not having a sun. I couldn’t believe this could just happen – shouldn’t we just float out in space now…lose gravity…lose our atmosphere…something? Without a sun to revolve around? How could this be? And then one day, the sun turned back on. As if someone had just replaced the bulb.  Everything was back to normal, as if it had never happened. We continued to work on the house, and everything was fine.
I woke up with the strangest sense of relief and wonder at where this surreal dream came from. What does it mean? Am I worried about my company’s recent request for me to not work on non-billable projects – which has drastically reduced my income all of a sudden? Does this equate in my mind to the sun’s light going out? What about the new smaller house? What about the feeling of keeping my loved ones together – letting them know how much I love them? I feel like I need to marinate in this for a bit.
I have been struggling with a cold virus, and running a temperature, which I have been trying to rest through so I can burn out the virus. Maybe it was just one of those crazy fever dreams. But so vivid, and worth thinking about.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

finishing the story


As pretty as those little blue eggs were, they sat at the top of my blog for an awfully long time without hatching. So here are the babies as they looked after they hatched. Kind of homely, aren't they? And really kind of large for babies! It was really sweet watching the mom and dad robin take such good care of them though. There is nothing like being right there when mama flies up to the nest with a worm or juicy bug and you see those two crazy waving pink beaks pop up, wide open, swaying back and forth: gimme gimme gimme!! I couldn't ever manage to get a photo of that, although I did catch it one time with the video camera.
We had a particularly stormy spring, and the spot they had picked for the nest wasn't exactly protected from the elements. After several storms' worth of watching the parents shielding the babies with their wings, we had a major storm that began to turn into a big hailstorm. I couldn't bear the thought of those poor birds getting pelted with hailstones -- didn't know if they would even survive that. So I quickly searched the house looking for something to cover the opening in the deck above their nest. I settled on a 3-ring binder, thinking I could place it over them like a little roof. It didn't want to stay in roof shape, but it did stay in place and cover the opening over their heads.
Robin parents

That mama bird STARED at that notebook while I was carefully placing it above the nest, not sure what to think, very nervous about it but unwilling to leave the nest and babies while the large human was standing so close. Eventually she decided it was probably okay, since she must have been a tad more comfortable than she had been before I put the roof over her head. Daddy bird showed up then, and the hail really started coming down. They each stood on an edge of the nest and spread their wings to keep the babies sheltered.
After the storm finally stopped, I thought about removing the notebook, but they already seemed to be accustomed to it, and I figured it would protect them from all the other storms. So there it stayed for a few weeks as the babies learned to fly, until one day I came home and they had all moved on.
I've since removed the notebook, but the bedraggled nest is still sitting up there -- I feel kind of funny taking it down, in case they come back, but I don't think they will. Still, it was kind of sweet to be a part of the beginning of a new little family.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009



A robin family built their nest in a little crook of our deck cover a few weeks ago, about 5 feet from our back door. As I saw them start to bring in their building materials and begin construction in this spot, I was a little worried that it was an unsafe place for them to build. I thought about trying to thwart their efforts by removing the pieces they had brought and putting something in the way, but they were so diligent, bringing piece after piece of straw and grass to the precarious little spot, I just didn't have the heart to undo any of their work. And as the nest began to take shape, they would take turns wiggling and squishing their little bodies down into the pile of debris, making a nice, perfectly round indentation in the center.
I never saw them both together, but I am pretty sure there was a male and a female building the nest. The mama finally settled in and started spending long hours in that spot, becoming alarmed now and then by our comings and goings, but staying put. One day when she flew off briefly, I grabbed a ladder and stuck my camera way up high to see what was going on in the nest. What a happy feeling to look at the camera's screen and see that bright blue!

It's been a rough road for those little eggs -- sure, it's June, but we are not having a typical Colorado June. It's been chilly and ridiculously rainy, with freakish lightning and thunder. We've been getting the kind of rain that feels like Pacific Northwest weather. Days on end of rain. That poor little mama has been hunched down in that nest, completely drenched, spreading her wings out to shelter those babies of hers.

Today it finally stopped. I saw her fly up to the nest with something in her mouth and as I watched, a funny little pink beak popped up out of the nest. The babies have started to hatch. My girls are naming them -- one of them is Lightning McQueen. We still don't know how many there are -- at least two. Tonight I saw the mom and dad both sitting on the edge of the nest with worms in their mouths. Teamwork! I guess we will have a front-row seat to see how the babies do when they leap out of the nest. I will just have to keep the dog out of the way!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

i am here

I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I am here. I have something to say; I just don't know how to say it. And I'm too busy going back and putting in semicolons instead of commas. But that is who I am: an editor. I love semicolons.

But it is hard to just get some words out there when your internal editor is in the forefront all the damn time.