Tuesday, December 11, 2007

so much for posting every day...

Oh, good grief, it's been MORE than a MONTH! I just cannot keep all my balls in the air at the same time. Work is going well and not keeping me too terribly busy, but just having regular work at all kind of keeps me from doing little things I like to do, like writing or exercising, or anything...
I thought signing up for NaBloPoMo would inspire me to post at least more often than I was posting, but sadly, no.
But I am feeling happy and lucky and kind of connected, and my girls are doing well, and our Christmas decorations are up, and the house is fairly clean, and my Christmas shopping is not too far behind, so...life is still good.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


I really live a charmed life. I have always considered myself a lucky person. Good things happen to me. When I want something enough, I get it. When bad things happen to me, they are not as bad as they could be, and they work out fine in the end.
I try to be aware of that, and grateful for it.
Today I am feeling especially thankful:
I am thankful for a new client I started working for today (a company that wants to give me lots of work) and for the woman who recommended me so wholeheartedly that they wanted to hire me on the spot without even reading my resume.
I am grateful for my girls' soccer coaches and the time, skill, and care they give season after season.
I love that my girls are so talented and smart (and silly).
I appreciate my girls' teachers and a principal who cares so much and appreciates my contributions to the school.
I am thankful for a loving husband.
I am feeling happy about connections I am beginning to make.
Life is good.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

wishing to create

Yesterday (the day I should have posted this!) I went to an open-studio event put on by a group of artists that included my favorite client and his wife. Their art was really lovely and I wished I was feeling more flush with cash than I am right now (wish my client was giving me more work at the moment!) so that I could buy a piece.
But what really knocked me out was the art of a friend of theirs, a woman who had recently had a stroke and lost the use of her right hand -- her dominant hand. All of her art -- and it was really luminous and beautiful pastel work -- had been created using her left hand. What an inspiration. Some people might have given up after losing such an indispensible tool, but she was still so driven to create that she fought to learn how to use her left hand to do it. She struggled with making her pieces look the way she wanted them to, but they were absolutely beautiful. And there were so many of them. Amazing.
I have so many excuses for not creating: too busy, not talented, don't feel like it right now...but creating is something I really want to do. What flimsy excuses those are.
The colorful drawing above is by my 10-year-old daughter, Allie. She doesn't spend much time sitting down and drawing for fun anymore, but she does have mandatory art classes in school, so she can still create beautiful work. I guess I just need to enforce some "creativity time" on myself.

Friday, November 2, 2007

being a tigger

I had a little downtime tonight and decided to clear off the Tivo by watching some things I'd recorded. One was "Crazy Sexy Cancer," by Kris Carr. Tivo had decided I only needed one hour of it, so I still haven't seen the second half. But I really liked watching Kris and her go-get-em attitude about living with her incurable cancer.
The other show I watched was the Oprah episode featuring Kris and Randy Pausch, who did the "last lecture" I had seen on YouTube a few weeks ago. He is dying of pancreatic cancer but such an upbeat person with such a great outlook on life.
Wow, do both of those people make you think. One of Randy's philosophies is that you have to decide early in life whether you are going to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. I really want to consider myself a Tigger, but I have really been shlumping around like a big fat Eeyore lately. Life is short and I really need to embrace it more.
I resolve to be a Tigger!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

what have i done?

Okay, on a whim I just signed up for NaBloPoMo. That means I HAVE to start posting every day. What in the world am I going to talk about? Guess I will have to come up with something!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

dwindling halloween

Happy Halloween. For the first time, only one of my girls wanted to go trick-or-treating. The other one stayed home to hand out candy. While it was kind of nice not to have to put together two costumes, it does feel kind of sad to be moving out of an era!

Monday, October 22, 2007

more scenery


We spent the last several days in the mountains and Colorado's western slope area. Beautiful scenery and fun family times. We were surprised by a couple of our exciting October snowstorms, though -- a little one on the way there and a big one the day we drove back. The drive back was a little harrowing, and we had a close call on a slippery hill as we approached a major accident, but managed to escape injury or damage (we did get tapped on the back bumper by the guy behind us). It could have been so much worse. People were sliding off the road right and left. Luckily it was in a flat valley, not on the side of a cliff.
I have spent the last half hour trying to get World Series tickets, but with no luck. We go to a couple of Rockies games a year, and it would be awesome to get to see them play in the World Series. We figured it would be a long shot to get through online and get tickets, but we'll enjoy watching it at home too. [Just found out that almost no one got tickets due to massive numbers of people trying to get them at once, so we may have another slim chance to try again!]
I notice, looking at this photo now that I've posted it, that it is demonstrating the effect of the new problem I've been having with my camera -- the retractable lens cover doesn't always open all the way, right away; hence the dark corners. Oh well.

Friday, October 5, 2007

nothing but photos


I have been really busy this week with work, but I wanted to post a picture I took this weekend during our last camping trip of the season.
Nothing else to say at the moment really...time to get back to work!

Monday, September 24, 2007

tasty sky


We went to the local corn maze this weekend, and my husband took this photo of the southeastern sky at sunset. It was such a beautiful evening. I love this time of year.
I didn't intend to do my four posts and then quit, but I guess that's me. I promise myself to get back in the swing of this thing. I may even play the piano today too.

Monday, September 10, 2007

small steps toward a goal

My friend Lisa and I made a pact with each other. We're trying to support each other's drive to be more creative and follow through on the things we really want to do but are not doing for various reasons. Last time we got together we set goals for each other: I would make four posts to this blog, and she would finish a pastel drawing she had started.
Today is the deadline (extended only once). Tomorrow we will get together for lunch. This is my fourth post since then -- hooray for me! Hopefully tomorrow I will get to see a lovely pastel drawing of daisies.
As we both get in better habits with these things, she will be creating more art, and I will make more progress on creating a website that will showcase her art. How's that for synergy?

Saturday, September 8, 2007

what's stopping me

I have such good intentions. I really do.

But something always stops me.

I have wanted to start a blog for at least five years now, but didn't do it because -- even though I am a "writer" -- what if it turns out I have nothing interesting to say?

I know I need to make exercise a much bigger part of my life and that it's possible to look and feel better, healthier and younger; but I don't make myself do it because what if it turns out I wouldn't look as good as Sheryl Crow or Demi Moore?


I took eight years of piano lessons when I was a kid, and I can still play some things that I played when I was a teenager. And I can still learn new pieces as long as I know what they are supposed to sound like and are in a key that doesn't have too many sharps or flats. I have two pieces of music that I would dearly love to be able to play well, and sometimes I work on them, but I don't keep it up for very long. I think it's because what if I can't ever play them well? If I don't keep practicing, I'll never know. But if I do keep practicing and still never get any better, then that would suck, right?

I really want to reach out and make friends with some of my acquaintances -- invite couples over for dinner, make a connection with other moms who seem interesting -- but I don't ever pick up the phone and call someone and move it to that next level because what if they think "I don't want to be friends with that boring and/or annoying woman"?

I'm getting tired of being someone who doesn't follow through on her good intentions.

The more I write, the better my writing will become, and I will eventually have something interesting to say.
I won't ever be a hardbody like Sheryl or Demi, but if I exercise more I can make myself healthier and slimmer than I am now, and that would be awesome.

I have proven that I can play the piano well if I practice. If I do work on those pieces every day (or even every other day), I WILL eventually be able to play them. And just playing the piano at all makes me feel more like the creative person that I want to be.

As far as making friends...that seems like the hardest one. Yet I am feeling more and more lately how important it is for us humans to connect with each other. I am not actually boring or annoying, I don't think. So I should really follow up on this intention.
This is what has been stopping me. This post is my first step toward taking action.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

i am not THAT old!

When I was a teenager and young adult, I always looked younger than my years. Don't know what it was, but people always thought I was younger than I was. They'd say, "Oh, you're lucky. The older you get, the happier you'll be to look younger!"

The trouble was, as I got older, somewhere along the line I must have started looking older. In fact, when I was 29 and taking care of some last-minute details for my wedding reception, the idiot security guard at the place asked me, "Are you the mother of the bride?"

"Um, I'm the BRIDE!" Gee, thanks for making me feel so attractive on my wedding day!

Fast-forward five years later to a shopping trip out with my second baby. She was about a week old, and I was probably looking pretty haggard as I piloted the stroller to the department store checkout and put the baby dresses up on the counter. The (extremely young) clerk smiled and said, "Oh, are these for your granddaughter?"

Yeah, right. Let's see, if I had a daughter at seventeen, and SHE had a daughter at seventeen, that would work out about right. I think I burst into tears at that point and shocked the clerk with "No!! they're for my DAUGHTER!! I just had a BABY!  GOD!!"

Now that I'm getting to that age (45) where I could actually be a pretty young grandmother (while not a teenage-pregnancy-induced grandmother), I guess I shouldn't be so sensitive about it. I think I look pretty good. I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I'm starting to have an intimate understanding of why people get facelifts (though I don't ever really want to do that); but I try to dress to flatter my figure, I wear makeup, I have a cute haircut, and I still feel about 29 inside.

So it was kind of a shock when I went to one of those "passion parties" last year, you know, where you get together and have drinks with your girlfriends and then one of them starts demonstrating sex toys and accessories for everyone to buy. My friend Lisa talked me into going with her; I hadn't been out to do anything fun in a while, and was trying to get in the spirit of the thing while having drinks before the demonstration, when a neighbor of hers came up to me and said, "Oh, I just wanted to say hi! I've seen you at Lisa's before -- you're her mother-in-law, aren't you?"

Wow, I feel so sexy now. Let me whip out my credit-card and buy some lingerie for this hot grandmotherly body. "Um, NO! I'm her FRIEND. I am TWO YEARS older than Lisa!!! I am not old enough to be her mother-in-law!!!"  She recoiled, obviously regretting her error; and after hearing my sob story, Lisa said to me, "Oh, she's young, and everyone knows she's kind of an airhead." But still. Gah.

It took me the rest of the year to get over that one. I look at myself and try to figure out what it is...maybe my posture. Maybe if I stand up straight, smile more, wear younger clothes, something...

But it's obviously not working. The other day I saw a classmate of my 10-year-old's at the grocery store. I smiled at him and he said "I know you!! You're Allie's grandma!"
"I'm Allie's MOM."
"Oh! Sorry!"
Huh. Well, maybe it's time to just embrace it. Because I think I look pretty damn good for a grandma!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

i now have a teenager


I went into labor on Labor Day weekend thirteen years ago, and my first daughter Maggie was born, changing my life forever (in the best way) and ushering me into the parenthood club. She was an adorable baby, then a smart go-getter of a toddler, a helpful big sister, and a bright, creative little girl.

As we head into the teenage years, we're starting to get the eye-rolls and heavy sighs and storming out of the room that I remember from my own early teen-hood (with the unspoken "I'm so mad! I don't know why! I'm just mad! No one understands! You people are hopeless!). But most of the time she is loving, funny, sensible, and responsible, just the kind of teenager I would hope for. I really hope we can hang on to this kind of teenager. I'd rather not have the kind I was. (Although I never really did much of anything besides sitting and moping in my room, hating myself and thinking about boys.)


I've just been thinking about how lucky I am to have such a great daughter.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

choosing happiness

I liked this article (found via Willa). I have really been trying lately to enjoy and savor the little things, and find ways to choose to be happy.

I have noticed how much my own happy (or grumpy!) moods are reflected back to me by my family.

Monday, August 13, 2007

a lovely mountain weekend


This little rippling creek next to our campsite this weekend really captured my imagination. Watching the water rush away through and around the trees made me think that if I followed it I might find little woodland fairies or hobbit cottages.

It made such a soothing sound as we fell asleep, too.

Monday, August 6, 2007

back from texas

I love looking west and seeing mountains. But one thing I miss about living in the flatlands is the sunsets. Here in the Colorado front range, the sun just goes right down behind the mountains, usually without a lot of fanfare. Sometimes we get a surprise burst of color, which is cause for much oohing and ahhing.
However, when we go down to Austin, this type of scene is a regular occurrence at my mom's house. Beautiful colors that intensify and last a long time after the sun is well down below the horizon.
Although...actually now that I compare this photo to the one in my banner (taken in eastern Colorado), I see how similar the colors really are. You just have to go a little further east.
And the sunrises here can be spectacular too. I'm just not usually up that early with my camera!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

a new month...


Well, that was a ridiculously long time in between my first post and my second...I can't ever seem to get this off the ground. Here is one reason for my lack of time: our puppy, Kaila. First dog I've had as an adult, and it's almost like having a baby all over again. Oops, gotta run -- she's stolen another shoe.